Thursday, July 14, 2005

Work is fun: Bits and Pieces

No respect
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss".

He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

How to get time off
Two men working in a factory were talking.
"I know how to get some time off," said one.
"How are you going to do that?" "
Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter.
The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied. "I'm a lightbulb."
"I think you need some time off," the foreman said, and the first man walked out of the factory.
After a moment, the second man followed him.
"Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted.
"I can't work in the dark," he said.

Motivation
The salesman sold a computer system to a far and foreign firm, and upon visiting them several months later he was alarmed to see that it was still in the original packaging.
"Anything wrong?" he asked.
"No," beamed the accounting manager, "efficiency has improved no end!"
"How's that, then?"
"Every morning," he said, "I tell the staff, if you don't work harder and more efficiently, the machine is going to replace you."

Have you noticed?
Do you notice that the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop & tell everyone that they don't have enuff time to do all their work.