Thursday, December 08, 2005

Goodnight from Sydney

That's the end of Thursday's postings and tomorrow, (Friday) is the day I once more pop down to the local hospital. As has been the case for the last four weeks, I am not certain how many posts - if any - will be made!

Perhaps I could spend the day working on a business plan for Santa Claus. After all, when you think about it, he runs a highly inefficient organisation.

All those letters for example. Why not pass the whole thing over to a service centre in Mumbai? While we are it, elves are notoriously difficult to work with. Send the elves a nice little letter saying ,"thank you for your services and loyalty yada yada but due to...." and then outsource to China. He could outsource to Australia, but he would need to get them to start manufacture now to be in time for Christmas 2010.

Why does Santa have to deliver himself? He's the boss for Heaven sake! Hire a few thousand British and New Zealand backpackers and get them to do it. He could cover the cost of their wages by charging each household an administration fee and delivery charge. Oh people would complain, but what parent when faced with a tearful Kylie or Jason could refuse? Santa's got it made - emotional black...persuasion!

Then there is the question of sponsorship. All the reindeers could wear jackets with a sponsors name on it. Just imagine how much companies would be willing to pay to have their company name clearly displayed on every Christmas card that features reindeers.

The naughty or nice bit will have to go too. Leaves him wide open to charges of elitism or discrimination. Not only that, what if some kid thinks they have been wrongly classified as "naughty"? They could take Santa to the cleaners.

I knew I had a calling in life. The Aussie Who Saved Christmas.

Wherever you may be - be safe!